My Little Top Gear: Shrink Rays are Rubbish
by SixShooterOutlaw
Summary: When Nova has to hide the shrink ray he decides to give it to the hosts of his favorite TV show
1. Chapter 1

Nova was having one of those days he was pacing around his room trying to find a place to hide the shrink ray he had for the past few weeks. "I hid it there last time" he said to himself out loud when he looked under his bed he then tried the his chest of drawers and the under his pillow but none of them seemed like an adequate hiding spot for it. "I really need hide it so no one can find it" he said to himself.  
He then heard footsteps coming from down the hallway he started panicking and then shoved it in the bottom drawer of his chest of the person walked by he then sighed with relief and took it back out of the drawer "I'm glad that they didn't see it but this is the least of my worries the monthly room inspection is coming up and they do a very thorough check of every single room of the Helicarrier and they will surely find it" he said out loud "I need to take it somewhere that they can't find it and I only have till next week to do so". He sat on his bed thinking for awhile and said "I think I'm going to turn on my tv maybe if I relax a little I'll come up with an idea" he went over to his TV and found that an episode of one of his favorite TV shows Top Gear was on, he then thought of an idea. "I wonder if that will work"  
he said to himself "It's worth a shot" he said as he put his helmet on and left his room.

He was heading to where he thought a good hiding spot is, it is a long distance away so he "borrowed" one of the Helicarriers mini jets to get there. "I really hope they go for it" he said out loud "I mean who wouldn't wanna try a shrink ray out?".  
He started to get ready to land the mini jet where no one could find it and started walking to the place he was going. Once he got there he started to get very very excited "I can't believe I am standing right outside the Top Gear studio!" he said happily "Okay okay get a hold of yourself just play it cool" he said then he heard a door open,

"Who are you?" he heard a voice ask.

"Sorry but I wanted to talk to-" he stopped in mid sentence when he realized that he was talking to Jeremy Clarkson.  
"Play it cool Nova play it cool" he thought to himself he took a deep breath and said "I wondered if you wanted an idea for a special segment"  
"What is your idea?"Jeremy asked him, Nova started to tell him his idea and he seemed interested. "How about we tell Richard and James your idea and see if they like it?" he asked Nova.

"Yeah" Nova said to him and they headed towards the door to the studio.

The two of them went inside the studio. Once they were inside they saw James May on the couch but to Nova's disappointment he did not see Richard Hammond,his favorite host.

"James,this kid his a fantastic idea for a special segment for the show" Jeremy told James.

"What is it?" James asked. Nova then explained to James his idea and then James said "We well have to ask Hammond what he thinks"

"Wait I have a different idea" Jeremy said "How about we don't tell Richard about the shrink ray and use it on him when he least expects it?" Jeremy finished explaining his idea.

"It's a shrink ray Clarkson I don't think he would ever expect that" James said matter of factly "But it is a good idea".

So Nova gave them the shrink ray and then headed off "I can't wait to see that episode come out!" he said to himself excitedly "I really wish I could of met Richard, but maybe I will when I come back to get the shrink ray" he went back to the mini jet and then headed back home.


	2. Chapter 2

James and Jeremy were talking about the plan to hit Richard with the shrink ray they had gotten the other day.

"So how do you think he's going to react when he realizes he has been shrunk?" James asked.

"I don't know but I am envisioning a lot of shouting and jumping up and down" Jeremy answered and James and Jeremy started laughing just thinking about it.

When the two of them headed out onto their test track Richard was standing near some mirrors that James had suggested they use so Richard could see himself when he was shrunk down.  
Jermey kept the shrink ray hidden behind his back as he and James walked up behind Richard

"What are we doing that has to do with cars that we need mirrors for?" Richard asked curiously.

"You will see" James answered then looked at the two mirrors and said "That one looks a bit off"  
James pointed to the mirror on the right side "Can you move it over a little?"

Richard looked at him then at the mirror and said "What ever you say Captain OCD" then turned around and started adjusting the mirror and while he wasn't paying any attention Jermey took the shrink ray out from behind his back and aimed it at Richard.

"Are you sure you don't want me to fire it?" James asked.

"How bad of a shot do you think I am?" Jermey asked back then said "I can do this" he then pulled the trigger but the ray didn't hit Richard but it ricocheted off one of the mirrors and hit them instead! When Richard turned around and noticed that James and Jermey were gone "Where have those two disappeared off to?" he asked out loud, he looked around then he then called for them but he didn't get any answer but then all of a sudden he heard some kind of yelling that sounded like it was coming from the ground and when he looked down and saw the strangest thing he ever saw.

James and Jeremy could not believe what just happened they beam hit them and now they were the ones shrunk down. When Richard started shouting for them it was incredibly loud and hurt their ears they started to yell for him and when he finally heard them and looked down at them he looked like a gaint to them and then he kneeled down to get a better look at them and then he started to laugh and then he asked them "How did you manage this?" and then Jermey proceeded to explain everything and when he finished it made Richard laugh even harder which made Jermey and James cover their ears due to it sounding so loud to them.

"Can you not be so loud it hurts our ears at this size." James requested politely.

"Sorry guys" He said quietly "So how did you plan on returning me to normal size?" Richard asked them.

"We were told that the effects could wear off in a few hours" Jermey said in his now high pitched voice.  
"WHAT?! You said that they should to me not could!" James said to Jermey nearly squeaking "what are we going to do if it doesn't?".

"Relax James it should wear off and if it doesn't wear off the kid who gave it to us should come back tomorrow: he said calmly and then all of a sudden he felt a raindrop and he looked up at the sky and saw that it become dark and gray. Richard noticed it too and looked down at his shrunken co-hosts.

"We need to get inside" Richard told them "How much do you two trust me?" he asked.

"Why do you ask?" James asked him.

"Because you to need to get inside casue the way those clouds look it's going to be a bad storm" he told them.

"How are we going to get inside?" Jeremy asked.

Richard closed his eyes for a moment and then said "Carry you".

"No no no! You are not picking me up!" James said to him.

"Me either" Jermey agreed.

"Come on guys you can't walk there you won't make it by nightfall let alone before the storm is over" he explained.

With a sigh of defeat James said "Alright" and Richard put his hand down and James stepped on and then Richard put his hand up to his shoulder then James climbed on.

"Come on Jermey, do you really want to be out here in the rain or would you rather me pick you up and take you inside where its safe?" Richard asked.

"Fine" Jermey said loudly and Richard picked him up and put him on his shoulder and the three of them headed towards the studio.


	3. Chapter 3

When they got inside the studio Richard walked over to the where they do the news and set James and Jermey down on the table and he sat down on the couch.

"So if the kid's idea was for us to test the difference between a electric car and a RC car what on earth made you think of shrinking me for a joke?" Richard asked them.

"Well we still were going to do the RC car thing but we figured on having some fun with you first"  
Jermey answered.

"And how did you plan on taping this?".

"We have minicams in our coats and some in the mirrors" James replied.

"Ah,so do you still think this was a good idea?" Richard asked Jermey.

"No" Jermey said to him.

"Now then what shall we do to pass the time till you guys get back to normal size?".

Jermey looked around and saw the RC cars they were going to run the test with "I have an idea" he said to them as he started to try and get off the table.

"Oh no, you are not going to try anything that dangerous" James said trying to him.

"Oh come on May let's have a little fun, and I don't think Hammond will mind" Jermey said looking at Richard.

"I don't know" Richard said to them.

"If James doesn't want to do it that's fine but I want to" Jermey told him.

"Ok you can drive the car,but be careful when you do" Richard said to Jermey.

"You do know that the word "Careful" isn't exactly in his vocabulary" James said sounding concerned.

"I'll be fine" Jeremy said to them.

Richard then got up and got one of the cars and placed it on the ground then he picked Jermey up and set him down next to it, Jermey then got in the car and started it up then he hit on of the pedals and went flying in reverse and would of gone right off the stage if Richard hadn't grabbed the car.

"Be more careful or you won't be allowed to drive the car" Richard scolded him.

"Alright "Mum" I'll be more careful" Jermey replied sarcastically.

Richard put the car on the ground off the stage and watched Jermey drive around like a manic.

"I don't think this is a very good idea Richard" James said watching Jermey attempt to do donuts and nearly crash.

"I'll stop him if he gets out of hand" Richard told James.

A while later the battery died in the RC car and Jermey,James and Richard were getting tired.  
"What time is it?" asked James.

"Almost 9'o clock at night" Richard answered.

"And when did we get shrunk down?" James asked him.

"About 1:30" Richard replied.

"Shouldn't the effects have worn off by now?" Jermey asked sounding worried.

"I don't know but you did say a couple hours so that could be anytime now" Richard said.

"Well I don't know about you two but I'm absolutely knackered" James said then he asked "How are we all going to sleep?".

"I could sleep on the chair and you two on the couch" Richard suggested.

"But what if we go back to normal size while we sleep?" Jermey asked.

"I think you two will wake up when you do" Richard told them.

"Well I think it's our only option" James said.

"Alright that's what we will do" Jermey said sounding tired.  
Richard picked up James and then Jermey and set them down gentley on the couch and then he when and sat in the chair and they all fell asleep right away.


	4. Chapter 4

Jermey woke up and Richard and James were still asleep,he tired to go back to sleep but he couldn't,  
so he decided to try and find something to do he then tried to find a way to get off the couch. He first attempted to climb down but the drop was to far so he knew he could not jump off either,so he was going to try and wake up Richard he wasn't really worried about waking James up since he was snoring loudly. "Hammond!" he called but Richard did not wake up he called him again but still no response so he tried climbing off again and he landed on the ground stumbling a little but he was on the ground so he walked over to Richard and said "Hammond" again only this time Richard moved a little but still didn't wake up so Jermey tried climbing up his pantleg he then climbed on his lap and called him again this time Richard woke up, looked at Jermey and asked "What are you doing up?".

"I can't go back to sleep" Jermey answered.

"So?".

"I'm getting bored" Jermey told him "Can I drive the other car?".

"No you can't" Richard replied he picked Jermey up and walked over to the couch and set him on it "Now stay here" Richard told him sternly as he walked over to the chair and sat back down.

Jermey sat on the couch looking very unhappy and grumbling a little when he remembered that he still had the shrink ray with him so he proceeded to aim it at Richard and shrink him down.

"JERMEY! WHY DID YOU DO THIS?!" he heard Richard shout in his now high pitched voice.

"Payback" Jermey responded.

"But I didn't shrink you, you did!" Richard replied.

"I know".

"So what payback?".

"For not letting me drive the other car".

"You do realize that now that I'm tiny you guys have no one to take care of you!".

"Oh".

"Yeah "oh" if you two weren't back to normal by the morning I was going to see if I could contact the kid who gave you the shrink ray to see if he could help!".

"Well I have his number if you still want to call him".

"How can I when my phone is on the table!".

"We'll figure it out".

"How are we going to get on the table?" Richard asked.

"Do you think we could jump on?" Jermey asked.

"The gap look rather large, I don't think so" Richard answered.

"How about we get the car, get on it's roof and climb on?" Jemery suggested.

"How are we going to get the car when it's not on the stage?" Richard asked.

"Didn't think of that, How about we try and climb up the table?" Jermey said running out of ideas.

"That might actually work" Richard said to Jermey.

"Okay, let's try this" Jermey said enthusiastically as he climbed off the couch and on to the ground.  
Richard then climbed off the chair and on to the ground and walked over to Jermey. Richard grabbed on to one of the legs and started climbing up and he got on top of the tried to follow him but he couldn't get on the top of the table but then Richard helped him up.

"Thanks" Jermey said to Richard then the two of then walked over to the phone and turned it on and when said it was nearly 6'o clock in the morning.

"What's his number?" Richard asked him then Jermey told him his number and they called him.  
Richard had Jermey explain what had happened and he said he'd be the in a about two hours.

"What are we going to do for two hours?" Jermey asked.

"Stay right here" Richard answered.

"What happened to Richard?" they heard James asked still sounding sleeply.  
Jermey told James what he did to Richard and then James said "You're a bloody imbecile Clarkson".

"Alright, we have two hours till the kid gets here" Richard said "So James do you want to come up here or do you want to stay there?" he asked.

"I think I'll stay right here where its safe" James answered.

"Okay" Richard replied "Now we wait".  
So they sat there waiting and talking to try and pass the time, James fell back to sleep and Richard and Jermey argued about cars.


	5. Chapter 5

When the tiny trio took a look at the time they noticed that the two hours was over.

"It'll be nice to be back to normal" James said happily.

"I know" Jermey agreed." But Richard will still be tiny even at his normal height" he added smugly.

"Really?! You had to say that?" Richard asked sounding frustrated.

"Oh look the Hamster is getting angry! What shall we do?" Jermey asked sarcastically.

"Oh shut up Clarkson" Richard told him but Jermey just laughed.

"Oi, you two should both just shut up!" James yelled at Richard and Jermey but they continued arguing.  
The arguing stopped when Richard's phone rang James answered it and it was Nova asking to get in the studio.

"How are we going to let him in? I locked the door when I came in yesterday" Richard said sounding worried. James asked if there is any other way for him to get in and all Nova said is that he does but they will have to change the lock. They told him to do it and they heard something that sounded like a small explosion but they figured it was nothing, James and Jermey recognized Nova from a couple days ago but they didn't recognize they guy in the suit that was next to him.

"Wow, you weren't kidding when you said you had a small problem" Nova said teasingly.

"Who's the guy you're with?" James asked.

"I'm Agent Coulson of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Nova here told me about your problem" Coulson answered.

"How are you going to get us back to normal?" Richard asked.

"With this" Nova said holding up something that looked like the shrink ray "This is a growth ray it should bring you bac to normal size". The trio got on the ground to wait to return to normal size.

"Well what are you waiting for,use it all ready!" Jermey said impatiently.  
When Jermey talked Coulson had a look on his face that said 'I know that voice', when Nova activated the growth ray he fired it at the three of them and they all grew back to normal size.

"It's nice to be back to normal" James said sounding relieved.

"I agree" Jermey said in reply.

Coulson stared at Jermey for a mintue and then said "It is you!".

"What?" Jermey asked.

"Your Jermey Clarkson the best of the Top Gear hosts." Coulson answered.

"HEY!" Richard and James said in unison.

"Wow Coulson I didn't expect you to be a Top Gear fan" Nova said to him.

"I have been for a few years, I didn't know you were a fan too" Coulson said back.

"Okay we get it you are both fans of the show but I think we have a bigger problem" Richard told everyone.

"What's the matter?" Coulson asked.

"The shrink ray dissappered" Richard answered.

"WHAT?!" Everyone said at once.

"Jermey had it and now it's just gone" Richard added.

"I was afraid it was one of those ray guns" Coulson said darkly.

"What do you mean 'One of those ray guns'?" Nova asked him.

"Damage Control tried to make a way that if one of the ray guns went missing and when someone picked it up that's fingerprints aren't registered in it's system it would teleport back to base" Coulson explained.

"Well everything should be fine it'll be back at their headquarters" Nova said to Coulson.

"No everything isn't fine they shut down the telport program at base but not on the ray guns with the program, so the shrink ray could be anywhere and will continue telporting at random when someone picks it up!" Coulson told them.

"How are we going to find it?" Nova asked.

"There is a tracking device on it and we can get some trackers at Damage Control" Coulson explained to Nova.

"Well this is my fault so I'll help look for it" Nova told Coulson.

"Anything we can do to help?" Richard asked.

"You can help keep an eye out here in the UK since you already know about it" Coulson said to them "You can consider yourselves honorary S.H.I.E.L.D. agents".

"So how can we look for it?" James asked Coulson.

"I'll get you guys trackers" Coulson answered "Then you can look anywhere in the contry".

"Wow" Jermey said sounding impressed.

"Well we shouldn't wait around to long with the shrink ray out there it could fall into the wrong hands"  
James said to everyone.

"I'll bring you three your trackers later on but we need to go get them" Coulson told the three of them.

"We'll be waiting" Richard said to Coulson.

Coulson and Nova left the studio and got into their minijets and headed home.

"Well let's get ready to look for a telporting shrink ray! How many people get to say that" Richard said enthusiastically.

"Not many Hammond not many" James told him.

"Well I don't care, I am now an honorary S.H.I.E.L.D. agent and my misson is to find the shrink ray"  
Richard added "Let's do this!".

They waited for Coulson to return to give them the trackers, he returned a little later with the three trackers for them "Here you go" he said as he handed them the trackers "I've also assigned two of S.H.I.E.L.D's finest agents to this task".

"Alright lads, let's go shrink ray hunting!" Richard said excitedly.

"Yes, we better get looking too" Nova said to Coulson then the two headed out of the studio.

Then the Top Gear trio got ready to start their hunt, once they actviated the trackers they were ready to go and then the trio headed out of the studio to find the shrink ray.


End file.
